How to be Happy

All Americans are endowed by the law with certain inalienable rights among which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Is it not strange that life and liberty are given rights, but we only have the right to pursue happiness. We don’t have the right to be happy. 

So, how to be happy at all times?

Is there a formula for happiness?

It would be great if they had a course in school that taught us how to be happy at all times. But there isn’t one, and neither is this something that our families and our culture teach us. I wish there was a formula for happiness – a dash of this, a smidgen of that, and a spoonful of something else. But there isn’t. You know why? Because each of us has a special power to conjure up happiness and this power is unique to each of us. It isn’t something that other people or things bestow upon us. It is something that we have the power to give ourselves.

Think about this: who or what has the power to make you unhappy? Do people on social media make you feel bad about yourself and your life: those supposedly successful folks, with the big house and the fancy job having some exotic vacation? Remember, people are literally filtering and airbrushing their lives to show everyone their best side on social media. We don’t see the flaws, the failures; we are not permitted to. We see only the carefully curated versions of what they want us to see.

Then there is the past that makes us unhappy. We know we cannot go back and change it but we still dwell on our regrets instead of cherishing the present moment. Others make us unhappy too. A spouse being in a bad mood, a public castigation from a boss, the prospect of kids leaving home…all of these things make us feel unhappy. There is something common in all of this – this is all about other people; externalities having power over your emotions. With this, you give away your power – you pin your happiness on others and relinquish the ability to create your own happiness!

Five mantras for happiness.

Learning how to be happy at all times is actually less difficult than you may think. Sure there is no sure shot recipe or formula for happiness, but with a slight change of mindset, being happy is surprisingly achievable. We have to understand that our happiness doesn’t lie in things, a car, money in the bank, or some award. When we embrace the idea that our happiness lies in the here and now, things start to change. At some point, it is important to decide that you will not give away your power to others, to the past, to objects. You recognize that the power to be happy is within you; that you are in charge of your feelings and joy. When you recognize this, you turn it around for yourself.

So, the first gift you want to give yourself to start increasing your happiness quotient is to stop comparing. If you’re comparing your looks to that of a celebrity, remember their whole job is to look the way they do. If you’re comparing yourself to some other rich person, they were probably born in the ‘right’ family and were in the right place at the right time most of their life. No one has walked in your shoes for as long as you have, so no one gets to judge you, your choices, your feelings, your dreams.

I have four other simple, effective mantras for happiness that I think you’re going to love. Don’t miss my latest episode to learn how to be happy at all times and give yourself the gift of happiness.